Staying Afloat

Our church is beginning talks of leaving the ELCA to join the LCMC.  I am really torn on this.

I consider myself quite liberal.  I have no problem with homosexuals.  I have no problem if one is called to be a pastor.  I firmly believe that being a homosexual is genetic, like your eye color.  You have absolutely no control over it.  Who are we to say that a person can’t be a pastor just because of their sexual orientation?

I may ruffle a few feathers here as well, but I feel we need to take into consideration the times/circumstances for when the Bible was written.  The main truths will always hold true.  However, there are parts that I disagree with.  Take a look at the old testament and some of the laws they had.  Jesus came along and threw many of them out.  It is 2000 years later.  Why not take a look at some of the “laws” and consider the times that they were written in?  In these two beliefs I find myself aligning more with the ELCA vs the LCMC.  The LCMC is very scripture based.

The problems I am having with the ELCA is the way missions are being carried out, changing the Lord’s prayer, and Jesus was resuscitated and not resurrected. After further investigation, the Lord’s prayer isn’t being changed.  The ELCA church is offering a few different prayers that are gender neutral/more inclusive to the churches.  I still don’t like it though.  Jesus gave us the Lord’s prayer.  We shouldn’t need to “fix” it at all.

In high school, I would have been classified as a “Jesus freak”.  I look back now I can see how much I may have turned people off.  While I was a part of CEF, I believed that people needed to make a decision to follow Jesus in order to be saved.  However, the more I think about it, I have a hard time coming to grips with a God that is supposed to be so loving damning people to hell because they don’t believe in Him, when they never had a chance to even hear about Him.  I figure if people have heard the gospel and still choose not to follow God, then that is their choice.  However, if someone has never even heard of God, how can God punish them?

The ECLA does not believe that there is prophecy in the Bible.  I disagree with the ELCA on this one.  I firmly believe that there were prophets.  God chose people to come before Jesus to spread the word.  I don’t understand how the church can deny this.

I am so confused with all this.  I wish there was an easy answer, but there isn’t.  I don’t want to just leave the church either.  However, I don’t want to be guilty by association with the church either.  Lots of prayer is required on this one.

I started this blog as a way to get thoughts out.  It is becoming more of a journal of what everyday life is like.  I want to try and get more thoughts out.  I look back at some of my really old entries and I am amused by some of my thinking.  It goes to show growth.

Work is going ok.  We have some issues with some student workers, but they are getting worked out.  I can’t name any names, but we will be letting one go soon.  I should say that Jacky will be.  She is the manager and it is her responsibility.  The student does not have the availability that we require.  I have a feeling that a few more will be leaving before the semester ends, and not due to graduation.  It gets frustrating that they don’t have the work ethic that I feel they should.  We have a few students that are just awesome to have.  Unfortunately, we will be losing a few of them soon due to graduation.  I don’t know when it will happen, but we will be having a meeting with our student workers regarding work ethic, policies, and expectations.  I spent today getting invoices done.  Tomorrow evening I will probably work on getting the Visa statement done.  I really like to stay on top of that for two reasons.  1.  It makes life so much easier doing it right away.  There is less paperwork to get mixed up.  2.  It makes our department look good that we do them immediately.  I think that pretty soon we’ll start returning books.

Home life is still home.  Laura has energy that seems to hardly run out.  Warren goes hard all day until he just can’t go anymore.  I can tell that both of them are missing their time with me.  I try to not snap at them.  I am run down with working so much.  I was hoping that I’d get recharged this weekend.  Unfortunately, that didn’t happen like I had hoped.  Saturday was my scrapbooking day.  I was able to get two pages done.  Mandy is also fighting a cold.  After our lunch break, we played a few songs on Rock Band, but then watched movies.  That was exactly what I needed.  I was able to chill and not have to worry about any little people.  Sunday morning Robert took Laura to church while I stayed home with Warren.  Warren took a nice nap, so I was able to rest on the couch and watch some of my recorded tv shows.  I would have napped if I hadn’t gotten up at 8.  Since I had slept so long I wasn’t ready for a nap at 9:30.

Things with Robert and I seem to be going ok.  I say seem since I am not totally sure what he is thinking all the time.  I have a habit of projecting my thoughts/feelings on to him, even though he doesn’t feel/think the same way I do.  I look at myself and get frustrated with what I am doing.  In turn, I feel like he is frustrated with me for those behaviors when in reality, he is totally ok with it.  For example, I haven’t done much in the last week due to feeling miserable from my cold.  I get frustrated with myself for the lack of ambition/things left undone.  I then feel like Robert is unhappy with me for those same reasons.  In reality, he understands and doesn’t mind taking up the slack for a few days.  I feel like I am just rambling on now.

I am still eating low-carb.  I made the decision this weekend that I am going to do a modified version of OWL (ongoing weight loss).  Instead of adding a small food/food group each week, I am just going to start adding them all in.  I will see how I respond over the next few weeks.  If I still manage to lose weight, then I will maintain on this path.  Part of the reasoning is that I am lost as to how to add the foods back in and in what order.  Another reason is I am feeling like my choices are limited, and I want to expand them.  There are times that Robert will find a really good sounding recipe, but I can’t have one or two of the ingredients yet.  This way I can try the new recipe.  I don’t want to give up the low-carb lifestyle.  I can tell that it works for me and is making a difference.  I am ready to really make it a lifestyle for me now and not just a diet.  I am still not to where I want to be weight wise, but I am getting there.  I figure as long as the numbers on the scale keep going in the right direction, then it is working.

Time to get a little girl through the bath.

I guess I didn’t learn my lesson at Christmas.  I went to a margarita party last night.  While drinking and playing Apples to Apples, I ate.  I ate, and I ate, and I ate.  My munchies included peanut butter M&M cookies, honey roasted peanuts, cashews, almonds, and a pumpkin dip.  Of course most of these items are NOT low carb.  The nuts would have been ok had I eaten them in moderation a little more.  This was all on top of several margaritas.  I woke up at 4 this morning with gut ache.  I actually brought a bucket into the bedroom I thought I was going to be sick.  Guess I learned my lesson this time.  My body can’t do the sugars like it used to.  This is a good thing.  It will help me from reverting to my old habits.

The kids are doing well.  They are both having to adjust to me working more.  I am currently starting an 8 day stretch of work, no days off.  Friday was day 1.  Tuesday and Thursday I will have the mornings with them.  Well, Laura more than Warren since he will still have his morning nap.  They are each showing in their own ways that they are missing me.  Laura is super cuddly when I get home.  She just wants to sit on my lap.  Warren is being goofy and wanting to show me everything and be the center of attention.  The hardest part is when they are competing for my attention.  I start to lose my patience then.  It is a cycle.  They fight for my attention, which causes chaos in the house.  I really look forward to work so I can get away from it.  Working causes fighting for attention.  I know in 2 weeks things will settle down again.  We just have to make it until February 4.

I am enjoying work for the most part.  The students are a struggle right now since they aren’t signing up for the hours to work.  This leaves us short handed and stressed out.  I know technically it is Jacky’s problem since she is manager.  However, we are sharing a lot of the duties.  I feel that as assistant manager that it is my duty to be there to help cover things and keep everything running smoothly.  It will be interesting to see how the semester progresses.  Right now it looks like we may lose 2 students soon, one based on attendance issues and another due to not working much at all.  Thankfully I am leaving that part up to Jacky as to how to handle things.  I will just be the support and back up she needs.

I had more to say tonight, but my head is pounding and my eyelids are getting very heavy.  It is time for me to call it a day.  Tomorrow morning we have Sunday school and church.  Then I am working 1-8.  Time to get some rest while I can!

Tonight Laura was standing in front of me.  All of a sudden I heard her toot.  I did my usual “Laura!” exclamation.  She looked at me and says, “It makes bubbles!”  I should add in here that the other night while she was in the bathtub she had tooted.  I asked her if she saw the bubbles.  She looked at me like I was being goofy.  I told her that when she tooted in the water she makes bubbles.  Apparently she remembered this.

I think I was given a pod child tonight when we picked up the kids from daycare.  Laura asked for corn with her dinner.  No problem there.  Robert decided to try some with Warren again.  This time Robert fed it to him on a spoon.  The little turkey gobbled it all up.  Not a single fuss.  I couldn’t believe it!  He had probably had little less than a 1/4 cup.  Not too bad considering the other night!  He then proceeded to eat 5 fishsticks and drink a full cup of milk.  If getting Warren to eat his veggies is as simple as feeding them to him on a fork or spoon, I’ll gladly do it!

I am trying so hard to not lose my patience with Warren.  He will eat veggies and fruit at Helen’s house with no problem.  He has learned with her to just eat them and then he gets what he likes (milk and meat).  I am trying to do the same with him here at home.  I think we’ve given into him for too long.  He will scream and throw a fit for over an hour over eating veggies.  I know that I have to win the war.  It is just a matter of which battles are the biggest.  What frustrates me the most is he does it fine at daycare, but not at home.  I just don’t know what to do.  Some people say to not worry about it.  I’m not worrying.  Just beyond frustrated.

Funny the first:

We got home from work/daycare.  Laura curls up and is under a laundry basket (had been over turned so it was like a turtle shell).  She fits under it totally.  Warren sees this as a great climbing opportunity.  He proceeds to climb up and down and all around the basket for the next 10 minutes.

Funny the second:  Robert wanted some popcorn tonight.  Both kids know the sound/smell of popcorn cooking on the stove.  They were surrounding him like the cats surround you when you have tuna.  There was no safe way to take a step without stepping on a kid.  Warren was reaching up and squealing he wanted it.  They are all currently on the floor eating the popcorn. 

After church today, I asked Laura what story she learned.

Laura:  “God.”

Me:  “Well, which one?”

Laura:  “Jesus.”

Good to know she’s learning!

Warren is definitely the instigator between he and Laura.  Yesterday Helen told me she was just laughing at them.  For example, Laura was playing with the Barbies nicely on her own.  He had lined them all up just so.  Warren walked by and just dragged his foot through the line up.  Of course Laura gave the expected reaction of yelling at him.  There are many other examples to go with it, but of course I am drawing  a blank right now.  I’ve said it since he was big enough to move, his goal in life is to see how loud he can make his sister scream.  He is doing a fine job of it!

The Rust and Neppl Christmases were very enjoyable this year.  We celebrated the Rust Christmas on the 26th.  It was nice that we could get up there in the morning and not feel rushed.  We could all just enjoy and be.  Laura and Warren each got some nice things.  I got several gift cards to JoAnns so I can get some scrapbooking supplies.

The Neppl Christmas was good too.  We left for DeForest on the 31st.  The kids did really well on the way down.  We stopped at Black River Falls for lunch.  Once we were back on the road we hit some freezing rain, but thankfully it didn’t last long.  We made it to DeForest by 1:45.  Neither of the kids napped that afternoon.  I took the attitude that whether I am up or not, the new year will still come.  Mom went to bed by 9.  Robert and I went to bed at 9:15.  It was a good thing that we went to bed early since Warren was up at 5:15 and Laura at 5:30 the next morning.  I really need to teach these kids how to sleep in.

Saturday morning was busy and yet quiet.  I was helping Mom get food and stuff ready for the Christmas “party” that afternoon.  Robert was doing his best to keep Laura and Warren occupied.  John, Tamara, and Jonah had said they’d be coming over “noonish”.  I made it my goal to get Laura to eat lunch and down for a nap before they go there.  She was down at 11:30, and they got there at 12:15 or so.  Warren was even down for a nap before noon.  I considered that my success for the day!  We played some Minute to Win It games.  We all had fun trying.  John and Jonah ended up beating the rest of us.  However, Robert and I were the ones who ended up the real winners. :)  The prizes were scratch off lottery tickets.  We all got one for playing.  Robert and I were the only winners.  :)  Warren woke up at 2:30, and Laura at 3:15 or so.  We opened presents.  Laura did really well with taking turns.  We did open up there toys in between turns so they could play a bit since there was a bit of a wait.  I got lots of scrapbooking supplies.  :D  Laura and Warren loved their toys, and each other’s toys as well.  It’s a good thing they were sharing well that day.  They still play with each other’s.

Saturday evening is when things started to turn.  Laura was real lethargic and saying she didn’t feel good.  She was running a slight temp of around 100.  We gave her some meds and she perked up a bit, but she still wasn’t herself.  She went to bed at her normal time of 7:30, but woke up around 10 when Robert and I were heading to bed.  She was shivering she was so cold.  Robert said he’d sleep on the couch so Laura and I could have the bed.  I wasn’t sure how much sleep I’d get with her in the bed, but I didn’t see many other options at that point.  Turns out I slept pretty well.  Warren woke up once at 12:45 and Laura noticed me get up, but then they both went back to sleep right away.  Thankfully they both slept until 6:45 the next morning.  Laura still had a fever, but this time it was about 101.  :(  Thankfully we were heading home that morning.

The drive home was very uneventful.  Warren slept until the Woodville exit.  Laura woke up around Black River Falls.  We didn’t make any stops.  The goal was to just get home and drive as long as the kids were happy.  The kids didn’t want to nap right away, but they did end up crashing at 3:30 or so that afternoon.  Robert and I made the decision that Laura wouldn’t be going to daycare on Monday.  Warren was also acting like he had a bit of a sore throat so we’d keep him home as well.

Monday morning, Laura still had a fever and the diarrhea (diarrhea showed up Sunday afternoon after we got home).  She spent most of the day in a diaper.  Robert stayed home with the kids while I worked.  Work on Monday was great!  It was the first day without Virgil.  We did lots of cleaning in the administration area.  We cleaned the desks, cleaned out drawers, vacuumed, and cleaned out old papers.  It made such a huge difference!  Since I didn’t have to worry about picking kids up from daycare, Jacky, Kayla, and I went out for a drink after work.  I made it home just in time for Robert to take off for his meeting at church.

Tuesday Robert worked and I stayed home with the kids.  I debated if I should take Laura in or not since she was still running a fever and her BMs were not solid.  I called and made an appointment for her, but then cancelled it since she was acting better.  I called Helen that afternoon giving her an update on the situation and seeing if bringing Laura on Wednesday would be an option.  Thankfully she said that we could try it.  If Laura needed to leave she would call one of us.  I figured that was fair enough!  Robert got home from work just in time for me to head to my card making class at Archivers.  I got home shortly after 8:30 and both kids were in bed.

Today both Robert and I were able to work.  I was busy working on various projects.  I think I’ll manage to stay busy once I get a better feel for things.  I will probably help Jacky with some of her stuff too.  I’m looking forward to taking on more responsibilities.  Time to get some sleep.  Kids will be up early and I am out of energy.

Laura is sick again.  She started with a fever Saturday evening.  Thankfully it was after we finished opening gifts.  She started running a low-grade fever of around 100.  She also said her neck hurt, which meant she had a sore throat.  Sunday morning she woke up and was still sick with a low-grade fever.  We made it home and then the diarrhea started in.  :(  It still hasn’t stopped.  Her poor bottom is just beet red.  I’ll be calling in the morning to get her an appointment.  She is wearing a diaper all the time right now since she isn’t always able to make it to the bathroom on time.  Before getting sick, she was pretty much completely potty trained.  She had been waking up in the morning completely dry.  She was even waking up from nap dry.  I know it seems like the naps should come before the overnight, but she went the other way around.  Robert stayed home with the kids today while I worked.

Work went really well today.  It was the first day since Virgil retired.  We cleaned like mad women.  Old papers were thrown out, desks were cleared off and scrubbed clean, office supplies were organized, and overall order was starting to be restored.  We still have a long ways to go, but we did get a good start today.