Staying Afloat

I was thinking yesterday morning about how great Laura’s attitude with life is.  She wakes up happy most mornings.  If she isn’t happy right away, she either needs time to wake up yet or is sick.  Like I said in my previous entry, she has a memory of an elephant.  However, she seems to remember the good stuff.  The bad stuff seems forgotten overnight.  The other night I had reached the end of my rope with her.  I was frustrated, I was short with her, and I had Robert do prayers and blessings.  She woke up the next morning totally happy to see me again.  She had forgotten the night before.  Every day is a new day to her.  Look forward to the good stuff, don’t worry about the frustrations of the day before.

What if we as adults started taking this attitude in life?  Things could be very different.  Adults tend to hold grudges and not get over things.  Imagine if we let go and tried to have a new day each and every morning.  Just one more thing to learn from a child.

I feel like I should post.  About what?  I don’t know yet.  I have today off.  I am hoping to get a lot more work done in the basement.  I think my best bet will be during nap time.  I promised Laura that we’d go to the park today, so I think that’ll happen this afternoon after naps.  I really should be downstairs now while Warren is napping.  I also need to get laundry done today.  I have one more load of maternity clothes that need to be washed.  Then I can fold them all up, put them in a box, and be done with them.  It is bittersweet donating them.  I loved being pregnant.  My body didn’t like it so much.  Knowing that this is final and knowing that we aren’t having any more babies is hard at times.  Then I remember the sleepless nights, the days that are difficult with two, and the expense of another child.  I am content with two kids.  It is nice that we can each take a child and not have one left out.  It is nice that we don’t have to worry about who has two kids while the other has only one.  I know it is the right decision for us.  It is hard though at times when I see the little babies at church or my friends posting pictures of their little ones on Facebook.

It is hitting more and more each day that my kids are growing up so fast.  Laura is such a little girl anymore.  Her hair is getting long.  She is becoming more extroverted.  I think that is in part due to being at daycare and Sam.  Sam is definitely pulling Laura out of her shell, which is a good thing.  She doesn’t need me to do everything for her anymore.  She can get herself dressed for the most part.  She still struggles with getting her shirts on, but even that is getting easier for her.  It’s hard to believe that she will be starting 4K next year.  A girl after my own heart… she just asked if we can cuddle for a little bit. 

Warren is now a toddler and not a baby.  His face is losing the baby look.  He is becoming more and more independent.  I catch glimpses of him and I can see what he’ll look like at age 4.

Both of my kids bring so much joy to my life.  I can’t imagine what it would be like without them.  I have my days where I reach my breaking point.  I have my days where I just need to run away.  But I wouldn’t change my life for anything.

On Tuesday, we went to the town hall to vote.  They have a large play system there.  Laura saw it and wanted to play.  Unfortunately, we didn’t have time since we needed to go get groceries.  I told her that if it was nice on Thursday that we’d go to the park then.  Yesterday morning she asked what day it was.  I told her it was Wednesday, and that when she woke up in the morning tomorrow it would be Thursday.  All last night she was asking if tomorrow was Thursday.  This morning Laura was in her room, and did the usual routine of asking if she could come out.  As soon as she was near the kitchen, “Guess what day it is!”  I asked her, and she said, “Thursday!”  The girl has a memory like an elephant.  She wanted to go at 6:30 this morning, but I told her it was too cold.  I am trying to hold her off until after naps this afternoon.  That way I don’t have to worry about someone needing to go to bed or rushing home for lunch.  We can take our time and play.  I can also get in some time in the basement and then have a break.  She doesn’t like my answer of this afternoon, but she’ll live with it.  I will keep my promise though.  I remember growing up that I could ALWAYS count on Mom and Dad keeping their promises to me.  I will do the same with my kids.  It teaches them the value of a promise and not to make them if they can’t keep them.

Progress has been made on the basement.  As soon as I box up the clothes I am keeping, photo/log the clothes that are being donated, I can say that the south half of the basement is organized and just about cleaned out.  We will still have the bed in there for a bit.  We have a pile of things that will be donated and a pile of boxes that need to go out to the garage.  I am hoping tomorrow to get all of the maternity clothes washed and packed up to be donated.  I am loving cleaning out.  If I hesitate about donating or tossing something, it goes into the keep pile for now.  I can always donate it later, but I can’t get it back (at least not easily).

The kids have been having fun this weekend with us cleaning.  They were able to spend lots of time in the basement, which is usually off limits.  We were even outside for an hour or so this afternoon.  Laura took a good nap, but she is still acting tired.  I’m hoping for smooth bedtimes tonight.

Tomorrow will be a day full of laundry, folding clothes, and packing up more boxes.  I can easily pack up the bookshelves that are downstairs.  Getting as much done this weekend as we did is encouraging to me.  It makes this whole thing that much more real.  We will be starting on our basement soon!  YAY!

Time to start dinner.  Laura didn’t eat much for lunch and is wanting food.  Warren is happily playing, and Robert is trying to figure out what to do next.

I’ve been reading/watching Nicholas Sparks on Twitter.  One thing he mentioned was that he is frequently asked if he loves writing.  Surprisingly, he said no.  He said it was one of the most challenging things he has done.  I’m sure he likes it or he wouldn’t have 16 published novels by now.  This got me to thinking about my job?  Do I love mine?  I certainly enjoy my job.  I enjoy having the adult conversations, I enjoy interacting with the students, and I enjoy using my knowledge and skills.  There are days that are frustrating.  There are students and faculty members that are just a pain in the backside some days.  However, the good outweigh the bad most days.  I’ve gotten to the point where I laugh at the students that complain.  I’d say without any hesitation that I enjoy my job.  I can say I like it.  But love it?  That part I’m just not sure about.  I know one thing for certain.  I have hit the point where I need to work.  It isn’t just about the finances.  I need to get out of the house, have my thing to do, and be away from the family a little bit.  As much as I love my kids, I need some me time, even if it is working.

I’d say that this was a great weekend.  I worked all day on Friday.  That night I went out with Pauline, Tashia, Tracey, Starr, and Barb (all from church) to celebrate Tashia getting her RN license.  Yippee!  We went to Las Margaritas in Woodbury.  Our dinner started out rocky with a long wait for a table and then another long wait to order food.  However, it was a fun evening all around.  I may try the place again, just not on a Friday night.  I got home at 10:30 Friday night.  I helped Robert finish up the dishes when I got home, and then we crashed at 11.

Saturday was another full day of fun.  It started out wonderfully when Warren slept in until 6:45!  I got started on the day around 7.  I went to Mandy’s for our monthly Scrappy Day.  We did a bit of shopping in the morning.  I didn’t actually buy much.  I bought some more paper (which I need like another hole in my head, but that’s beside the point), embossing powder, and some letter stickers.  I figure that it says quite a bit about me when I purchase only those items after hitting 3 craft stores.  It also says I have quite the extensive collection of stuff!  Once we made it back to Mandy’s we ate lunch.  We finally got our scrap on around 1 (I had gotten there shortly after 9).  I made it through 4 great pages.  I am so happy with how they each turned out.  I won’t be doing any pages between now and the next scrappy day since my scrapbooking stuff is living at Mandy’s for a while.  We went back to Woodbury for an Olive Garden dinner.  When We pulled in, the place was packed.  We had the choice of waiting an hour for a table or 15 minutes if we ordered our food to go.  Not a tough decision!  Once back at Mandy’s (again), we watched the unrated version of The Hangover.  I enjoyed it.  It isn’t a movie Robert would like, but it was fun with Mandy.  I finally started my way home at 10:30 and made it home and in bed at 11.

When I came home Saturday night, Robert had the house very clean.  He had done the laundry, cleaned the bathroom (and floor), the kitchen floor, and the living room.  It was wonderful to come home to.  He even made the brownies for the Sunday School bake sale.  With doing all of this, he also managed to take care of 2 kids.  I have such a great husband.

Today was a long day.  Warren slept until about 6:15.  Robert got up with him.  I stayed in bed until shortly after 7.  We were a little bit late getting to Sunday school, but nothing terrible.  Church was a long service.  the 2nd-7th graders started out with two songs.  Then there was a baptism.  Following the baptism, the 3 year olds received their Bibles.  Laura calls it her Bible book.  :)  The entire church was packed for the special meeting being held at 11:30 (or whenever church was over).  Today we voted on if we should start disassociating with the ELCA.  The “bill” passed.  We are beginning the talks officially.  In 90 days we will have another vote on whether to disassociate from the ELCA.  A second “bill”/motion was passed that if the vote in 90 days is passed that we will join the LCMC.  We finally got in the car to come back home at 1:15.  The kids did very well, but they were tired.  Warren had about a 30-45 minute nap on me during the church service.

Once we were back home, Laura went down for her nap right away.  Warren decided to wait until about 3:30 for his nap.  The little stinker.  Not surprisingly, they both took really good naps today.  I watched some of my recorded tv to catch up.

This week is going to be a bit crazy.  Tomorrow Robert and I are both working.  Helen isn’t available so Robert’s cousin Roxie is coming to watch the kids for us (SCC doesn’t have school).  Tuesday Robert is working a half day from home, but will be home all day.  I am working since Jacky will be taking care of her mom both Monday and Tuesday.  Wednesday we both work again and the kids will go to Helen’s.  Thursday will be my day off, so I’ll be home with the kids while Robert works.  Friday I am working, and Robert is taking a furlough day (his last one!), so he’s home with the kids.  Talk about a bit of a crazy and messed up week.

Time to brush teeth and get ready for bed.  I hope to post tomorrow or sometime this week my thoughts about the church again.

Tonight was the start of the tough conversations with Laura.  Robert and I have decided that Laura will learn the word vulva for her girl parts.  This is the term for the entire area.  Well, apparently she has been paying attention to us.  While driving around this morning she proudly announced to me that she has a vulva, and added in that I do as well.  I acknowledged her and agreed that I did.  She also pointed out that Warren doesn’t have one.  He has a penis instead.  I’m glad that she is learning the proper terms for the body parts.  I can get embarrassing at times when we are out in public and she decides to have these conversations.  However, before her bath tonight, things started to get interesting.  She was naked, waiting to get into the bath.  She once again mentioned her vulva.  I asked her where it was.  She pointed it out to me.  She then pointed mine out to me.  It was here that led me to a teaching moment.  I wanted her to understand two things.  1)  She should not touch anyone else’s private parts ever.  I explained that they are private and she shouldn’t touch.  2)  No one should touch hers except for me, Daddy, or a doctor.  I went on to say that if a doctor does touch her, that Mommy or Daddy should be there too.  I figure it can’t be too early to start talking about this stuff, but doing so in a way that isn’t scaring her.  I did ask her to also tell me if anyone ever touches her.  I don’t know if she will soak it all in from one talk.  I know that we will have to have this talk a few times.  What saddens me is that I need to have these talks with her.  The first point is a timeless thing.  The second one seems to be more prevalent now than 20 years ago.  Either that, or it is just publicized more today.  Either way, it is a tough part of parenting.  I would like to think I handled the situation well.  Only time will tell the end result though.

I’m still kickin’.  Some days are better than others for me.  This past week has been a blur.  Thursday morning we stopped at the chiropractor to get both kids adjusted.  It seems to be making a difference for both of them.  After the adjustments we were on the road to Milwaukee with a stop in DeForest to drop off the kids.  Robert and I had a hot date to see Gaelic Storm at the Pabst Theater.  It was so wonderful to get away and have it be just the two of us for a change.  Friday was spend bumming around Milwaukee.  The first stop was George Webb’s for breakfast.  Good greasy spoon type of place.  After we had our fill of food and coffee we made our way to the Miller Brewery for a tour.  The filling line was down so we didn’t get to see any of that.  However, we did get some nice cold beer at the end.  I am going to pick up some MGD 64 to keep around.  I feel less guilty drinking that since it has 2.4 carbs per serving.  After our tour was done we made our way to the Safe House for lunch.  I think it would have been more fun at night and to explore a bit more.  We ended the day with a visit to the Mummies exhibit at the Milwaukee Public Museum.  A very fascinating experience.

Saturday was spent with the kids and having a quiet day for the most part.  We went to Mt. Horeb to meet up with some of Robert’s friends from college.  I was able to get a baby fix in too!  Little Molly is 3 months old and just over 10 pounds.  It was fun to hold and cuddle her, but it was nice being able to give her back.  :)  We could have easily stayed up until midnight visiting, but both of us had to get our children to bed.  Laura didn’t sleep at all on the way back to DeForest.  Warren crashed shortly after getting on the road.  He was easy to get down for the night.  Laura needed a little bit of time to unwind yet.

Sunday was our drive back home.  Both kids were just exhausted from the weekend.  Laura slept until Knapp and Warren slept until Hammond.  Pretty easy driving.

I worked Monday and today.  Yesterday Meghan and Toby came to play with us.  I’m hoping that we can see each other a little more regularly.  Tomorrow I am meeting up with someone to give him kitty litter buckets.  I should get Laura’s birth certificate out of the bank and get her registered for 4K.  In the afternoon all three of us have chiro appointments.  I am going to have the doctor look at my back/neck and make sure everything is how it is supposed to be.  After work is the Data Center Move Celebration.  I’m currently planning on joining with the kids.  I am back to work on Friday, scrapbooking all day Saturday, church on Sunday, and back to work Monday-Wednesday next week.  I can’t believe we are at the end of March already.

I was hitting a rough patch earlier last week.  I was feeling very lonely on the road I was on.  It was up to me to plan our menus, make the grocery list, and get the groceries to maintain my new low-carb lifestyle.  I had considered giving it up to make life easier.  Then I remembered that I was so unhappy before.  I wasn’t satisfied with how I was eating.  This is forcing me to think about my food choices.  I let myself have a treat, but it is occasional.  Before I would eat a large bowl of ice cream several nights a week.  I maybe let myself have a fun-size candy bar once every two or three weeks now.  I have added in most grains and foods.  I haven’t added in a lot of fruit yet, but that is mainly because it isn’t in season.  I have been enjoying fresh pineapple.

Anyways, after talking with Robert about how I was feeling, we decided that we need a better way to keep track of recipes.  Up until now, we had been putting them on our Google calendar.  I would make notes about whether we liked it or not and any changes that needed to be made.  This still made meal planning difficult.  As a solution, we are starting yet another blog.  We are going to put up recipes and take pictures of the foods we make.  I haven’t actually done much over there yet.  Once I have, I’ll post the link here in case anyone is interested.

Well, that is enough rambling for tonight.  I need to hit the hay.  Tomorrow has potential to be a long day if naps are messed up.

I feel like I am asking myself “What day is it?” constantly this weekend.  Yesterday wasn’t quite a typical Saturday, but it wasn’t bad.  I would have liked to have taken a nap at one point, but that didn’t happen.  Today I feel so messed up.  Robert is working.  We didn’t go to church or Sunday school today.  I am feeling like today is a Monday.  However, I’d be working if it were.  When I work tomorrow, I’m going to feel like it is Tuesday, but it can’t be since I don’t work Tuesdays.  See how I am so easily confused???

I’d like to think that I’ve been productive so far today.  The kids have been playing and having fun together.  I tried to get Warren down for a morning nap, but he had other plans.  This is actually quite fine with me.  Maybe I can start getting him onto one nap a day.  That would certainly make life easier.  I can go and do things in the mornings and not worry about naps getting missed or messed up.  I gathered up all the laundry.  That was quite the task all on its own.  We didn’t do laundry last weekend, so there is 2 weeks worth that piled up.  I lugged it all downstairs.  Both kids wanted to come down with me.  I knew that Laura could do the stairs alone just fine.  Warren surprised me though.  He held onto the spindles on the railing and walked down the first set of stairs.  Since the second set doesn’t have the spindles, I made him down down backwards.  It was nice to have them down there with me while I was sorting the clothes.  I got one load going.  The kids were having fun playing down there, so I took an hour to start organizing and packing up some of the basement.  I have all of my scrapbooking stuff consolidated.  I started to pack up some of the books but I can’t get clear access to the bookshelves until some bins make their way out to the garage.  I don’t know where we are going to start storing everything.  I also don’t know where it will all go when we can move it back into the basement.  I figure we’ll deal with that when the time comes.  We may be listing some stuff on CraigsList just to get rid of it.  I know that I made a dent in some things, but it sure doesn’t feel that way.  I think the biggest change will come when I start making trips to Goodwill.  Although I just did some searching and Easter Seals will come to the house to pick up things.  If I can get all the boxes packed and ready to go I don’t have to go anywhere.  We will still get the receipt for tax deduction too.  That would make things much easier.  I will just make a list and figure values out later.

I am still stalled with my weight loss.  I haven’t made any changes.  I know that is the problem.  I need to watch what I eat and start exercising.  The problem with the exercising is that once I start I have a hard time breathing.  I don’t know if it is exercise induced asthma or if I am just that out of shape.  In my heart I know that it will get easier once I start.  I just have to make a point of starting somewhere.  I am trying to use Biggest Loser as inspiration.  I have to remember though that these people work day in and day out.  They have the personal trainers to push them.  I am on my own.  I feel very alone in this journey.  I feel like my support is not as strong as it used to be.  I am starting to think “This is the skinniest I’ve been in years.  I should be happy with it.  I am skinner now than when I got married.  Isn’t this good enough?”  But then I look in the mirror.  I see that I am still overweight.  I see that I am still not happy with how I look.  I find myself starting to slip into old habits.  I know that if I go back to those habits that I will just gain all the weight back.  I can’t let myself do that.  Like I said, I feel like I am all alone in this.

We took Warren to his 18 month appointment on Tuesday the 8th.  He weighs 26 pounds (50%), is 32″ long (36%), and has a head circumference of 48.7cm (73.5%).  So far he has been in the 50 or lower percentile for his length/height.  It wouldn’t surprise me if he ends up being tall later in life.  He does have some tall people in his family.  Time will tell on that.  His ears were totally clear, so that is a good thing.  There is a slight concern with his foreskin not retracting enough, but we are just leaving it be for now.  When I change him I need to gently pull it back, but not be forceful.  If things don’t start to get corrected, there is a chance we’ll have to see a urologist.  I am not worried yet though.  He is also considered delayed with his speech, but I’m also not worried about that.  He is starting to babble a lot more.  His language will pick up and then I’ll have 2 kids that won’t stop talking!

We looked at Laura’s ears as well while we were there.  Hers are totally cleared up now as well.  I am so thankful that we have made it through February and now have healthy children again.

Today’s plans ended up getting changed at the last minute.  Caitlin had to cancel plans since Owen is sick.  :(  When we looked at road conditions this morning, they were either snow covered, icy, or had slippery stretches.  Combine that with 20 mph winds, and it made it very undesirable to leave the house.  Instead, we had a nice quiet day.  Robert was able to get 2 naps in.  I was able to get caught up on some recorded tv.  Tonight we started celebrating Robert’s birthday since he is working tomorrow.  We had Papa Murphy’s pizza.  I currently have a carrot cake in the oven.  I will probably have to frost it in the morning.

We had our third contractor come out to give us a quote this afternoon.  He is the dad of one of the daycare kids.  So far we are liking him the best.  We have one more quote to get yet, and then we make our decision.  I am so excited to start the process.  I am not looking forward to packing up the basement.  It is going to be a lot of work to sort things out and get them boxed up.  I would rather not pack and unpack things that are going to Goodwill.  Maybe I can get down there a bit tomorrow to start sorting things out.

Tomorrow Robert leaves for work by 8:30 am.  At this point we do not know how long he will be working.  I am planning on him not being home until late.  I am hoping that I can get some cleaning done tomorrow, work in the basement a little, and just stay sane in general.  I am working Monday and Wednesday this week.  We head down to Milwaukee on Thursday for our Gaelic Storm concert.  I am really looking forward to that!

Time to find a new theme for my blog.  I am thinking that we are done with snow.  Time to start thinking Easter and spring!

I didn’t mean to leave this neglected so long.  I was home Thursday with both kids.  I made it a day to just sit and relax as much as I could while still taking care of two small children.  I worked on Friday while Robert stayed home with the kids (he took a furlough day).  I made my lunch Laura’s ENT appointment.  The doctor was running over an hour behind.  We finally got in to see him.  Things are responding well to the antibiotics.  We are going to continue with them and things should be fine.  I may make an appointment in a few weeks just to make sure things are looking good.  Actually, we are in tomorrow afternoon for Warren’s 18 month appointment.  I may have him take a look at Laura’s ears to make sure things are continuing to heal properly.  So long story short at this point, both kids seem to be healthy or are on the way there.  *fingers crossed it stays that way*

I haven’t posted lately about how I am doing on Atkins.  I have modified it a bit.  I am still eating low-carb.  I feel better doing it.  I skipped slowly adding in foods though.  I am careful about how many grains I eat in a day (even if they are low-carb).  I know I have slacked on the veggies.  I am making it my goal this week to eat more.  Weight wise, I have stalled out.  I know that I need to start exercising regularly to make the numbers move again.  I should also keep track of my carbs for a few days just to see where I am sitting again.  If not the carbs, just what I eat in a day.  I watch the Biggest Loser each week.  It is motivating me to get this weight gone.  I am smaller now than I have been in years.  However, I am not where I need to be yet.  I did my measurements again this weekend, and I have lost about 5 inches in each of the three places (waist, hip, thighs).  I try to focus on the positive, but I just see how far I have to go yet.

This week may get interesting at work.  They have selected the people for interviews for the manager position.  I don’t know how many are interviewing.  I know that Jacky did get one.  She is in the morning on Wednesday.  I am hoping that by Friday they will be done and have a decision.  I hate the waiting game, but I imagine Jacky is hating it even more!