23

September

Memories

I have just finished watching Sex and the City.  The entire series.  At one point towards the end, one character Samantha gets breast cancer.  It is caught early on and everyone in the show believes that Samantha will be fine.  At one point, Samantha and Carrie (one of her best friends) are sitting together talking.  Samantha starts talking about her fears she has with cancer.  Carrie immediately pipes up with the spiel of you’ll be fine, they caught it early, etc.  Samantha stops her and says she just needs someone she can talk to about her fears.  For some reason, this really struck a chord with me.  I am coming up on 10 years of being cancer free.  My odds weren’t nearly as favorable as Samantha’s (although I didn’t know it at the time).  A few rounds into my treatment, I remember vividly at one point talking with a friend saying that some days I just get tired of fighting.  I think this freaked her out.  She told me I was to never talk that way again and that I’d be fine.  I am older now, and I hope a little bit wiser.  I know she didn’t want me talking that way because she was also scared.  I think she was afraid that if I talked that way I would give up hope.  What I needed was a friend who would listen to my fears.  I didn’t speak up all those years ago and tell her the same thing Samantha told Carrie, but now I wish I would have.  I needed someone that I could talk to about all that was happening to me.  Moving ahead again, I am going to be celebrating my 10 years.  I will be having a party on October 24 (which is the day I was told I was cancer free 10 years ago).  I know that it will be in the afternoon.  I’m not sure what we will all be doing.  I need to start sending out invites/information to people and make plans.  Anyone have a suggestion for activities?


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