I feel like I am asking myself “What day is it?” constantly this weekend. Yesterday wasn’t quite a typical Saturday, but it wasn’t bad. I would have liked to have taken a nap at one point, but that didn’t happen. Today I feel so messed up. Robert is working. We didn’t go to church or Sunday school today. I am feeling like today is a Monday. However, I’d be working if it were. When I work tomorrow, I’m going to feel like it is Tuesday, but it can’t be since I don’t work Tuesdays. See how I am so easily confused???
I’d like to think that I’ve been productive so far today. The kids have been playing and having fun together. I tried to get Warren down for a morning nap, but he had other plans. This is actually quite fine with me. Maybe I can start getting him onto one nap a day. That would certainly make life easier. I can go and do things in the mornings and not worry about naps getting missed or messed up. I gathered up all the laundry. That was quite the task all on its own. We didn’t do laundry last weekend, so there is 2 weeks worth that piled up. I lugged it all downstairs. Both kids wanted to come down with me. I knew that Laura could do the stairs alone just fine. Warren surprised me though. He held onto the spindles on the railing and walked down the first set of stairs. Since the second set doesn’t have the spindles, I made him down down backwards. It was nice to have them down there with me while I was sorting the clothes. I got one load going. The kids were having fun playing down there, so I took an hour to start organizing and packing up some of the basement. I have all of my scrapbooking stuff consolidated. I started to pack up some of the books but I can’t get clear access to the bookshelves until some bins make their way out to the garage. I don’t know where we are going to start storing everything. I also don’t know where it will all go when we can move it back into the basement. I figure we’ll deal with that when the time comes. We may be listing some stuff on CraigsList just to get rid of it. I know that I made a dent in some things, but it sure doesn’t feel that way. I think the biggest change will come when I start making trips to Goodwill. Although I just did some searching and Easter Seals will come to the house to pick up things. If I can get all the boxes packed and ready to go I don’t have to go anywhere. We will still get the receipt for tax deduction too. That would make things much easier. I will just make a list and figure values out later.
I am still stalled with my weight loss. I haven’t made any changes. I know that is the problem. I need to watch what I eat and start exercising. The problem with the exercising is that once I start I have a hard time breathing. I don’t know if it is exercise induced asthma or if I am just that out of shape. In my heart I know that it will get easier once I start. I just have to make a point of starting somewhere. I am trying to use Biggest Loser as inspiration. I have to remember though that these people work day in and day out. They have the personal trainers to push them. I am on my own. I feel very alone in this journey. I feel like my support is not as strong as it used to be. I am starting to think “This is the skinniest I’ve been in years. I should be happy with it. I am skinner now than when I got married. Isn’t this good enough?” But then I look in the mirror. I see that I am still overweight. I see that I am still not happy with how I look. I find myself starting to slip into old habits. I know that if I go back to those habits that I will just gain all the weight back. I can’t let myself do that. Like I said, I feel like I am all alone in this.