I have been considering for a while now how to handle discipline with Laura. Most of the time when she is misbehaving/throwing fits it is because she is tried or wanting attention (jealousy). I understand where she is coming from. I know that when she isn’t tired that she wouldn’t do these things. It is hard to discipline her with a time out for wanting some attention/cuddles. It seems counterproductive. On the other hand, I can’t just let it go. I try to talk to her calmly, but my patience runs out quickly. I usually end up snapping at her and feeling bad about it later. She rarely actually does anything naughty. It is just so hard. It makes it even more difficult that I am the main disciplinarian since I stay home with her every day. Robert does a great job helping in the evening, but is still gets difficult. During the evenings she doesn’t throw as many fits since Robert or I can give her almost completely undivided attention. I am debating getting her a special chair for her to sit in when throwing a fit. That way I can tell her to go to her chair until she calms down. Then it won’t be a true time out, but still gives her a chance to pull herself together.
I started this post on October 6. Now on October 18 I am finishing it.
We started discussing discipline at play group last week. I was excited that we were going to start talking about it. I ended up leaving a bit disappointed though. The entire half hour was just going over parenting styles. We didn’t get a chance to ask about different techniques, or what worked for others that may be in a similar situation. So here is what I have started doing with Laura. When she is crying at me, I will tell her she needs to stop (if it is just to get attention). If she still doesn’t stop, I’ll tell her she will get a timeout. I pull out a chair from the kitchen table and have her sit on it. I set the timer for 2 minutes. While she is in timeout, I don’t look at her or talk to her. So far she hasn’t tried to climb down on her own yet (thank goodness!). Once the timer goes off, I talk to her about how she needs to use her words and ask for cuddles if that is what she wants. I make sure we end with a hug so she knows I still love her. A few times she wiill still cry at me after the timeout is over. If that happens, I will progressively move her closer to her room. One afternoon I knew she was still tired even after her nap so I just put her back to bed. I really don’t want to use spanking as a form of discipline with my kids. I just don’t feel right using it. For some it works, but not for me. I know that as we continue down this road called life, things will have to change. As she gets older the timeouts may not be as effective, or I have to take away things. But for now they seem to work. Laura has started talking about timeouts. I make sure she understands that good girls don’t need to go in timeout. She is a very smart girl and is picking up on the timeout thing quickly. So now we just go with it for now, and adapt as we need to.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
I am glad you have found a system that is working for you. It sounds a lot like what we use with Lizzie. Your doing a great job!