Archive for September 18th, 2010


Last night Liz and I went to see Eat, Pray, Love.  It definitely wasn’t what I expected … or at least I got more out of it than I expected.  One of the thoughts I had afterwords was a reflection on how most of us travel.  Liz (as in Julia Roberts’ character in the movie) spent 4 months in 3 different locations.  It occurs to me that that is the only way to fully appreciate where you are … spend time there.  Most of us try to cram the experience into our heads by fitting in as much as we can … so much to see, so much to do.  Rarely are we relaxed and “there” … too much thinking about what we’ll do tomorrow or the next day and what’s next on the “agenda.”  I think that if I’m ever blessed with the opportunity to visit some place like Italy or Bali, I’m going to make a point of limiting my “agenda” to allow myself to soak in the experience of truly being there and experiencing it.  Seeing the sites is nice, but I suspect the true experience of these places is immersing yourself in life there, even if it’s only for a few days.  When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

I recently went to a funeral for one of my great uncles.  Listening to his children and looking at pictures got me thinking about my childhood experiences with grandparents, specifically my grandfathers.  My mother’s dad passed away when I was too young to remember, so really the only grandfather in my life was my dad’s father.  Looking back on the experience, I think I missed out.  Some parts of me say I’m being too hard comparing to an idealized image, but Bennet’s funeral proves that loving, playful, involved grandparents do exist from that generation.  I won’t deny that I did have some enjoyable times … usually involving tagging along for field work.  There were meals with him and grandma.  But for the most part, there really wasn’t much that brings back the warm feelings that remembering Bennet invokes for his family.  No storytelling (that I remember anyway).  No music.  No grandpa building things for you to play with.

Bennet’s funeral did prompt some regret on my part, not for anything having to do with my grandfather but more because I didn’t make much effort towards getting to know family members of his generation.  I’m sure they had stories to tell and I wish I had heard what they have to teach.

I’m hopeful that my children will have the opportunity to get to know their grandparents and know that special relationship that you can have with them.  I am thankful that my parents and Liz’s parents are the type of people that can provide the memories and happiness that Bennet is remembered for.

R.I.P. Bennet L. Rust (1922-2010)