journaling: enabled

I know the answer to the question is yes, but some days I feel like giving up. liz4jc4ever asked flutterbyefred if she was okay with us dating yet. She isn’t. I realize this entire mess is my fault, which frustrates me even more. I could have chosen to continue down the same path I was traveling, but I still feel that I would have needed a break at some point. Some people can continue through life with the first girl they date. I don’t think I’m one of them. I am frustrated because I still care about fred and want her to be happy, but I want to experience a new relationship too. Hopefully I can still enjoy the Billy Joel & Elton John concert on Thursday with liz.
It doesn’t help that work has been frustrating too. There are way too many things going on for everything to get done the way it should be. There are so many things that can be improved if we had the time to do it. I’m frustrated because I’ve become something of a paper jockey lately… writing up documentation that few people pay attention to but that should still be written … managing purchasing processes for new computers … mostly those. I feel like I need a vacation but I don’t want to spend it alone.
Part of me wants to skip the Dance Theatre banquet tomorrow night simply because I’m feeling somewhat antisocial. How crazy is that. I don’t want to go on vacation alone but I don’t feel like being around people either. My mind is so f*cked up right now. Maybe I need to just take off without telling much of anybody … but I doubt I’ll do it… it tempts me though.
On a bright note, I did get my taxes re-copied and stuffed in envelopes with necessary schedules and such to send in. I’m getting a nice amount back … probably going to put it towards my house mortgage or improvements.