Loneliness. Homelessness. I’m alone … in what used to be “home” … an apartment. I’m paranoid about my house purchase falling through. I don’t have any place where I really “belong” at the moment.
Archive for May, 2001
I have this stuffed plush turtle that Liz seems to really like. I offered it to her to take back home for the summer, but she didn’t want to. I thought she could hold it and think ofme … instead I hold it and think of her. I discovered last night when I had it next to my pillow that it even smells like her. 
I’m bushed. I miss Liz. :~( I think I have a better understanding of the relationship between women and ice cream though. I think Sandra Bullock had a pretty good line in “Miss Congeniality” when she said she was going to get “chip-faced”. I went out and sorta got chip-faced tonight. Pecan cluster Blizzard from Dairy Queen … yummy. ‘Cept this one had too many pecans in it. Still served the purpose though. I feel a little better, though it can’t make up for her not being here.
I’m a very lucky guy. I saw Liz tonight for the last time before she leaves for home. I know I’ll see her again, but it’s just not the same. I decided tonight that women are endothermic. They always seem to have cold hands. I don’t think that’s a problem because Liz makes me feel warm and I can give some of that back.
Liz is her cheerful self again tonight. Yay. I really have a craving to hold her. Yah … Yah… sappy I know, but that’s the way I am. When I close my eyes I can imagine it and I feel content.
Ouch … my head hurts. I guess I finally pushed my body too far and it said “no!” — meaning I had a headache, the chills and was light-headed. I think this means I need a vacation. Temporary relief was provided by coming home from work ill and crashing in bed.
Liz wrote me to apologize for being stressed out last night when I talked to her … I guess I need to let her know I don’t expect her to be happy all the time, especially when she’s in the middle of studying for finals. Will talk to her tonight of course.
Yiy! I’m starting to get a little stressed out about the house I’m buying. It’s easy to forget about little details like water and electricity and insurance and stuff. I think I’m going to need a few days to recover after closing (which is thankfully on a Friday). The insurance agent I called is not the friendliest individual in the world… maybe she got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Liz is very special to me. And she just sorta jumped into my life, you know? One minute I’m just helping out Dance Theatre … the next I’m like “wow … I just felt a spark”. The “spark” is something I thought was more of a myth than it actually seems to be. Maybe it’s just a first love thing … but I hope not.
She’s leaving town for the summer in 3 days. I’m sad about that. I guess that’s what phones are for though, eh? I’m sure we’ll get to spend some time together though. At least the void that existed within before she came into my life is gone. Not that I spent a lot of time focused on it, but I get some fulfillment out of being able to make someone else happy and I’m truly happy when I’m with her, night or day, rain or shine. I’m not perfect, but I’m not stone either. I’m giving her something special before she leaves, so she can take me with her.
As anybody can probably tell from reading this … I confess … I’m a hopeless romantic.
Umm. Hi. Yay. LiveJournal. Fun. Stomp! Random words.
Okay. I don’t want to weird anybody out. I guess I have to provide fair warning that I’m a geek though. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. As long as it doesn’t go too far. I like computers. They’re fun. It provides an out for creative expression unlike any other.
I like the outdoors, but have never been camping. It’s just not something I got to do growing up. Hope to get some done this summer. Biking is fun. Need to do more of that this summer too.
Okay, good for a first post I think. More later.
